“And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small.”-Esther 1:20
Obeisance, honor and a similitude of reverence can be coerced through violence and intimidation. This is the way of tyrants and fascists. One may not love their leader, or respect them, but if kneeling or submitting saves their neck then so be it. This submission is not motivated by devotion, but self-preservation. While the result may seem similar, it is very different.
In the time of Esther, the king would command that wives appear before their husbands on command. The power was in the hands of the man, and the throne. When queen Vashti chose not to come when she was called this shook the king and the princes. The chain of command was threatened, and their power was threatened. How did the king deal with this? He dismissed her and sought another wife. Out with the old, and in with the new. While God used his pride and arrogance to bring about deliverance (yet another example of how God can work despite man’s depravity), it is still a shameful thing that honor must be coerced, forced or leveraged. That a husband should be thought of as a tyrant in his own home. The modern-day feminist movement views God in this way. That he is an unjust tyrant, and by extension so are men. The system is all equally unjust and must be overthrown, muzzled or trained. The feminist is only picking up what Satan has already laid down. That old lie that God is not God, and we should be. He would have women war against the submission to the husband, and husband against submitting to God. Forgetting that God’s holy kingdom is not like mans. God is just. God is loving. He is on the throne, and he offers a better and more perfect way than what mankind could create. He commands the husband to be subject unto Christ. As Christ was to the Father. A Christ who left heaven, surrendered comforts, helped the lowly, and sacrificed himself on the cross. This submission is what the husband must model in the home. Men honor God by leading through love, humility, integrity and fidelity in all things according to the scriptures. Husbands are to lead by example and reinforce the law of God through word and deed. When the husband fills his role, it makes the wife’s role much easier. Hers is to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed. To guide the home, and give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. Our culture today seems to look down on women who choose motherhood over career advancement; but God doesn’t. A maid can clean a house, but that doesn’t mean she can keep a home. Mom is on the frontlines. She sees the scars and tends the bruises. She looks to what comes into the home and is watchful of what or who rocks the cradle (so to speak). When you take away the role of the godly women at home, you take away both the guard and the garrison. You take away instruction and the instructor. What career could have more impact than molding the future generations to serve the Lord and further the cause of Christ? What branch of education is better than training up a child in the way they should go? Businesses go bankrupt, countries fall but work in the home stands eternal in the hearts of the children.
A godly woman must give honor to the husband, but the scripture commands the husband to give honor to the wife. What a tremendous honor a godly woman is! To men “great” or “small.” So says the Word of God: “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-11) There is no battle of sexes in the Christian home, because the calling on our lives is greater than what is seen and heard by the natural man. We are striving for eternal things, together; and God, Christ, and His Word is our way forward.
