The Pile Of Fish

“So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.” – John 21:15

What we do, what we believe, where we go, where we work, who we are around, what we drive, etc.  Many, many things are thrown in this blender of self to create our identities.  These identities define us, and many will fiercely guard them if threatened. 

Before the Apostle Peter was the Apostle Peter, he was a fisherman.  He had a boat, a business, a reputation, he had an identity.  These were things of this world that defined Peter.  When Jesus called him, and when Peter chose to follow Christ, Peter’s identity changed.  He was no longer Peter the fisherman, he was Peter the disciple.  His identity was totally wrapped up in Christ.  Then Jesus is convicted, condemned, and crucified; they lay him in the grave and it’s over for Peter, right?  He trusted in Christ, he followed Jesus, and now Jesus is dead.  However, three days later Mary comes baring news that the Lord has risen, and it is not long until they get to see and hear it from Christ himself.  Now we must understand that after the resurrection, Jesus was not walking around with them all the time like before.  He would appear for a time and then leave.  Sometime in Jesus’s absence Peter decides to go back to fishing.  He reverts to his old trade, his old identity, and with the Lord’s instructions he brings in many fish.  It is crucial that we appreciate the scene that is playing out here.  We have Peter and various other disciples, sitting with the resurrected Christ eating on the shoreline, and somewhere nearby flips and flops a pile of “great fish.”  Then, perhaps sometime after the initial joy and elation of seeing Jesus, Jesus turns to Peter and asks him “Simon, lovest thou me more than these?”  He presents this question three times: “lovest thou me more than these?”  To this Peter says “Yes” and Christ tells him to “feed my sheep.”  You see, to Peter, there was a whole lot more at stake than a pile of fish.  The fisherman inside of him had probably already calculated the payout at market, the humanity within was already wrestling with where to spend his recent earnings.  The blessing from God could very quickly become a tool of temptation for the devil, because it was more than a pile of fish to this man, it was elements of his old identity.  I imagine before he met Jesus he spent nights dreaming about a haul like this; it was why he got into fishing in the first place!  To catch fish!  Now here he was sitting with the risen Christ, and his old dream was realized, his two identities called into question.  To this question Peter gives no hesitation: “You know I love you.” 

What is your identity today?  Are there things in this world that you acquire to build up yourself?  How will you respond when everything that you are, has been called upon by the Lord to forsake?  When Jesus looks at you and says: “Lovest thou me more than these?”  Do you love Jesus more than the praise of men?  Do you love Jesus more than a promotion, business, bigger house, etc.?  Lord helps us to live in such a way where Jesus Christ is our identity.  To live in such a way that there is no doubt, no question, and no hesitation: “Yea Lord you know I love you.”  Jesus does not want us to guard who we are but give up who we are.  The Apostle Peter would have never been “the Apostle Peter”, if he loved the pile of fish.