“For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.”- 1 Corinthians 7:7
In first Corinthians chapter seven, the Apostle Paul is writing as a single man. No doubt he was answering the Corinthians concerning the various relationship statuses that they were experiencing as new members were added to the body of Christ. In answering, he leaves behind sacred instruction to us.
For most people, they imagine that they will one day marry. That they will have a wedding day, a home and children. A life of romance, and a best friend to grow old with. Of those who are sound in the faith it is likely that they hope to find a wife or husband in church. The gift of marriage, godly marriage, is well supported. So, it should be. However, the Apostle writes, “for I would that all men were even as I myself.” Not married, but single. Single and entirely devoted to God. He calls this a proper gift. A true, right, correct, suitable gift. Yet it seems that all too often singlehood is not looked upon as a proper gift. As one progresses into their thirties, it might feel like you’re in a game of musical chairs and the music is about to stop, while all the seats are taken. The dreams of marriage you once had slowly slip away into the reality of your single life. The Hallmark holidays have no cards or candy for you. Movies and television use you as a third wheel or the third corner of the love triangle. At best you are mashed into the lives of married people. At times it may feel more like a curse than a gift. Certainly, if your only purpose in this life is to live for the things of this life, then married or single you’re doomed. However, if our resolve is to live totally and completely in the will of God then the gift of singlehood, and the soul who would use it; they are exceptional. Those who are called to be completely and totally focus on serving Christ and embrace such a calling; they are rare indeed. Those that resolve to “attend upon the Lord without distraction.” This is not for those who are less than, or who have been left out, far from it; it is for those who are trusted. Trusted by the Lord to be able to keep under their body and bring into subjection. Trusted by the Lord to live a life of sacrifice and surrender. To place on the altar the basest passions of the human condition. To accept that at the end of this life they may be without children, without someone to grow old with, living alone (though they are not alone) in an empty and quiet home. Their contribution and calling in this world will be entirely spiritual. For that, those souls, those sanctified individuals living this proper gift of singlehood should be esteemed. For they are esteemed, they are married to Christ and every day they are a living example that he is enough, and more than enough! They can go where the married cannot. They can leave when the marriage must stay. They can spend when the married must save. They are light and swift for the gospel. Someone mentioned to me not too long ago: “Our church is not sure what to do with single people. We don’t know where they fit in.” If the church is a social club, then it is easy to see how it would struggle to find a place for the unmarried. However, if the church is a church of Jesus Christ, and all as members of His body; then the married and the single have a part in the body just the same. What your relationship status is doesn't matter.
It is of great consequence to every sanctified believer that we settle in our hearts that we will serve the Lord no matter what. Married or single. That we hold the will of God above all else and recognize that every man has his proper gift in this life. To those who have been given the gift of marriage, use it for the glory of God. To those who have been given the gift of singlehood, use it to further the gospel. We must each accept and embrace the calling of God for what it is, and do not pander to the world, or the worldly church. The gift of singlehood is a proper gift, a beautiful gift. Thank you God for those brothers and sisters who gladly receive it.
